Once your child is out of infancy, as a parent you will begin to think about the next step of your child’s development.

After all, it’s not just about raising your protégé, but also educating them to be a good person.

The time with your newborn and young child goes by in a flash. It just felt like yesterday that you left the hospital with your little bundle of joy.

The sleepless nights are now behind you. Your little bundle of joy is growing and becoming more and more independent and confident.

They are pushing their boundaries and getting to know their own personalities they might have had there are first arguments when playing with other children. 

Don’t worry this is completely normal and, above all, a very important process when growing up and developing their own personality.

Children can be stubborn, moody, tearful and dreamy and sometimes also display slightly aggressive behavior. 

It’not only us as adults, but children also have good and bad days and everything is not always peace, joy, pancakes.

In addition to love and a stable environment, children also need rules. Because how a child is brought up often has an impact on the rest of life. 

Perhaps you still remember the upbringing you received as a child. If this was good, you will probably pass this upbringing style on to your own children or learn from the mistakes and want to do better.

If the child is treated with love, optimism, and trust, the course is at least set in the right direction in order to grow into a satisfied, happy and responsible person.

The parenting style

 Parenting style means the consistent basic attitude of the parents towards their children. Often this is shaped, for example, by how you were brought up in childhood and what the relationship with your own parents was like.

In addition to the personality-specific experiences, the social background, school education, and economic conditions also have an impact on your individual parenting style.

In today’s world, parents are increasingly unsure of how to raise their child or children and what is right for their own offspring. The reason for this is above all the increased flooding of advice and educational tips, from almost everywhere.

But even well-meaning tips from the super mothers from the daycare center, their own parents, neighbors or from friends and acquaintances can quickly overwhelm parents and make it difficult to commit to a suitable parenting style.

As different as the upbringing may be, the goal of all parents is to educate their child to be kind-hearted, tolerant, satisfied and confident adults. 

For some parents, discipline and obedience are the most important part of parenting, whereas, for other parents, children’s self-fulfillment is the most important area of parenting.

Now you’re probably wondering what different parenting styles there are. The list of parenting styles is long and includes the following:

  • Authoritarian parenting style
  • Anti-authoritarian parenting style
  • Autocratic parenting style
  • Democratic parenting style
  • Egalitarian parenting style
  • Laissez-Faire parenting style
  • Negative parenting style
  • Permissive parenting style

What is ultimately the best upbringing method for you and your child cannot be answered in general and must be decided by yourself. 

The most important thing when deciding what style of parenting works best for you is that you, as parents, agree on the upbringing, otherwise your child will question the methods and might play you off against each other.

 Have faith in yourself as a parent or parents to make the right impulsive decision by combining the different parenting styles in a meaningful way.

Four different parenting styles

To bring a little light into the dark, we have taken a closer look at four parenting styles and summarized the different features as well as possible advantages and disadvantages for you:

1. The disciplinarian parenting style

The discipline parenting style is characterized by many rules, strict regulations that must be observed by your child. Rewards or punishments are also typical features of the authoritarian parenting style.

Children have no choice but to submit to their parents and follow the instructions of the authority figures. This style of parenting was very popular in the past, the discipline style was used frequently to instill discipline and a sense of duty into the youngest children.

Features of the authoritarian parenting style:

  • Parents determine and tell the children what and how they have to do things
  • Parents are in control of their children
  • If the rules are not followed, punishments will follow
  • Clear hierarchy with parents at the top
  • Parents are responsible and leave little room for childlike self-development

Disadvantages of a strictly authoritarian parenting style:

Parent-child relationships are often characterized by distance and less warmth
Lack of exchange between parents and children
Children may not be able to develop and express their creativity
Children become aggressive and also want others to submit to them
Children remain submissive and lack self-confidence
Children often find it difficult to make their own decisions

However, the disciplinarian style of parenting that is now considered outdated by some parents. However, in certain situations, the disciplinarian style of parenting can still be used today.

Never forget that some life situations sometimes require parents to act authoritatively to protect their children and show them the necessary limits.

For example at school and also later in life when they start their professional career, it can be important to take certain authority figures seriously.

However, caution is advised if the methods are exaggerated and result in an abuse of power. Sensitive children, in particular, can even experience mental disorders, such as obsessive-compulsive disorders and end up with low self-esteem.

2. Democratic parenting style

The democratic upbringing style is primarily characterized by the fact that children and parents meet at eye level. The pioneering method of democratic education is the anti-authoritarian method of education.

In contrast to the disciplinarian parenting style, little rules are set for the children and at the same time, a lot of room for your child’s personal development is given.

The aim of this educational method is that children’s personalities can develop freely.

However, this method of parenting is not free of any rules. Here, too, certain rules and limits apply, which must be observed but without restricting the child’s self-development.

Characteristics of the democratic parenting style:

Important decisions are discussed beforehand between parents and children
Parents involve children in decisions and want to know their opinion. The decision itself is ultimately made by the parents
Parents promote their kids’ independence and initiative
Parents rarely give orders
Authority and freedom are balanced
Parents make suggestions and then discuss them with their offspring
Children are involved in decisions, discussions, and planning
Children experience acceptance, affection and a warm bond with each other.

Advantages and disadvantages of the democratic parenting style:

Children are raised confidently and often show compassion for their fellow human beings
The ability to work in a team is learned early on, which pays off later in school and in professional life
Children are emotionally strengthened by a stable home and are often balanced and responsible
Children are communicative and want to discuss problems
Possible disadvantages are: Since there is no hierarchical structure, parents are often put to the test of patience in which they have to discuss for a long time and often with their offspring of equal rights

The Relaxed Anything Goes Parenting Parenting Style:

This style of parenting largely leave their children to their own devices and only play a very passive role as a parent. The parents hardly set any rules and boundaries and, if at all, only very rarely set guidelines.

With the anything-goes style of parenting, parents also have no demands on their children and often parents control their children from a distance. In extreme cases, parents even neglect their children’s mental and physical wellbeing.

Features of the anything-goes parenting style :

Parents are not very interested in education. They often let their children go through everything without any consequences
This style of upbringing is often characterized by indifference
Parents rarely participate in their children’s lives
Parents only play a passive role in their children’s lives
There are few or no rules or guidelines for children

Disadvantages of the anything-goes style of parenting :

Children are left to their own devices and experience little security from their parents’ home
Parents are indifferent and disinterested in their children, which is why they often feel undesirable.
The emotional distance between children and parents is usually large.
Children often find it difficult to maintain relationships and maintain friendships.
The willingness to perform, as well as the commitment at school and later in professional life, suffer from this parenting style.
Children have wishes and ideas, but often do not implement them because they lack support and appreciation.
Children who have been neglected are statistically more prone to crime, drug and alcohol abuse in adulthood.


Now I will admit some of you will disagree with some of the examples used for the different parenting styles. In my humble opinion, you should trust your inner voice and gut when it comes to raising your little one.

Just let the best of the different parenting styles flow into your very own upbringing.

As long as a child grows up with love, support, care and a lot of warmth, you will raise a confident, friendly, helpful and lovable adult who you will be incredibly proud of.




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